My mother always told me I was good for nothing. She often said I wasn’t the pretty one. As a child hearing this over and over again you believe it. It makes you question your value as a person, but inside I always knew that I came here to do something amazing. I have abilities that are different, she had these abilities too.
I grew up on the other side of San Francisco bay. I have had many different jobs such as purchasing, landscaping, and waitressing; I even had a bread route. None of these jobs highlighted my true skills and abilities because I was carrying out my mothers expectations of me.
I remember when I was about 4 years old a family came to visit us, a mother with her son and daughter. I was sitting across the room and noticed that the daughter was being bothered by a little boy that wasn’t her brother, it was a ghost. This ghost boy was poking at the little girl. That really bothered me so I went up to my mother and asked her to make the little boy stop. After a minute or so my mother bent down and said “Patty, be quiet we will talk about this later.” My mother was not someone you crossed so I did as I was told. After everyone left and I was in bed my mother came and said “Patty not everyone can see what you and I see so don’t tell anyone because they won’t understand. I was seeing a ghost and my mother saw it too. But what I heard was I am different and not acceptable to the outside world. Once again I believed that my value was not as good as everyone else’s.
Through the years I really struggled with the conflict of who my mother said I was versus what I felt I could become. Unfortunately, the negative beliefs were wining. This conflict took a toll on my body. At the age of 22 I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis, and my doctor considered me handicapped for life. At the age of 38 I was diagnosed with chronic pancreatitis, which is a condition that most people die from within the first six months. It is very painful. I managed to live with this condition for over ten years. About five years after I was diagnosed with pancreatitis, I was in a car accident that shattered my left knee, the same knee where my RA started.
In 1999 I went to work for the Academy of Art College in San Francisco. It was there that I met Jason, who is now is my husband. He called me one day to ask if I wanted to go to lunch. I thought he was hitting on me but I accepted because he said he had something that he wanted to talk about. Little did I know that he wanted to talk to me about my angry attitude. At lunch he told me about how my angry attitude was affecting the entire office. He talked to me about my anger and how everyone could feel it. Of course I was unaware that it was showing on the outside. I could feel my anger, but I always thought it was under the surface and I believed that I was controlling it.
I was so ashamed I truly wanted to crawl into a hole. Then he told me about a process that he was using to help himself and others get rid of negative emotions, and that he was experimenting with using this process in the workplace. I listened. He asked me if I would like him to help me with my emotions. I said sure, not believing that he could help me or if this process really worked. As we started to do what he called clearing, the most amazing things started to happen! I started sleeping through the night. For over six years I lived in constant pain, not only from the pancreatitis, but the car accident I was in. This was so amazing to me! As we continued to clear, I noticed that the colors all around me were more vibrant and I felt like I was walking on air. My life truly changed overnight.
Today I aid people using this clearing process. With clients all over the world, I know I am doing my life’s purpose. Instead of hiding my intuitive abilities I am using them daily to help clients see what is in their way so we can clear it and they can move forward. Today I live pain free. I am happy, healthy and using my talents to help others thrive through our Living Lighter Program.