To have a green personality means to be natural and authentic from your essence. How is this possible when we have been trained to do the season of giving with competition, jealousy and go, go, go? Not to mention ‘to say all the right platitudes’ that have been taught from the past. And finally, the rules that say eating and drinking the traditions of the season without a thought of ‘is this in my highest and best interest?’
I want to tell you a story of my mother and how she taught me to be dysfunctional at Christmas. I remember as Christmas was approaching the frenzy energy would start to build. My Mother would have expectations that the rest of us would take on her idea of a good holiday. I see that she would whip herself into a frenzy trying to play the role of perfect mother and if my sisters and I didn’t do what she wanted she would be abusive, abrasive and mean. The message was, it was so important to be happy for the holidays, so that she could be a diva. Our job was to perform for her no matter what the emotional cost. As a child, I didn’t realize the contradiction in the training I was getting. On Christmas Eve, after sending us all to bed, I would find her sitting in the middle of the living room floor crying, wrapping presents. She would stay up all night, exhausted and emotionally spent, trying to be the perfect Mom and creating the perfect Christmas. Then after the holidays, She would always be tired and disappointed, because her expectations were impossible to achieve. I always felt that somehow it was my responsibility to make sure my mother was happy for the holidays; as a result, when I got older, I became a participant in this madness! I really thought that this was the way the holidays were supposed to be.
Since I have started clearing on a regular basis, I have been able to see the old patterns and games of the season from a different perspective. What a difference! I can see how my neediness for everyone else’s approval has held me hostage in the games and patterns that mostly belonged to my Mother. Truth; I am not my Mother nor am I willing to put myself into an early grave like she did trying to please everyone else. Today I choose to do what is right for me!
Today, since I have a different perspective of life and the season, I see that by using the essence of who I am, I am creating a green personality. This personality is natural and organic, so when the holidays arrive, I can enjoy them easily, without too much effort. This is my secret to creating balance. Be green with me and enjoy this season!!
Contribution by Patricia Rohn